To my son on the day of his 19.5th birthday.
ABOUT KIND OF LOVE THAT IS TOO OFTEN NOT AS MUCH AS WE NEED.
There has been an elderly couple living on the 2nd floor in our building. They bought two apartments opposite each other. The second apartment was intended for their daughter.
Their daughter was living in France. Over the last 5 years of his life, she has never come to see her parents.
When he died, I found out that he was a famous writer, whose books I had read and appreciated. A talented, modest, and big-hearted, he died knowing exactly that his own daughter did not love him.
The nature of love – is giving. The more one person gives to another – the stronger and deeper the love. (explanation here)
Your love for your future wife will begin with the first attraction.
Your love for your future children will begin with their birth.
When and why does love for parents begin? There are no natural causes for this, because your parents will anyway give you everything without expecting anything in return. Nature does not demand that you GIVE to your parents, and therefore does not demand that you love them.
That is why it was written:
כַּבֵּד אֶת-אָבִיךָ וְאֶת-אִמֶּךָ, כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוְּךָ יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ–לְמַעַן יַאֲרִיכֻן יָמֶיךָ, וּלְמַעַן יִיטַב לָךְ, עַל הָאֲדָמָה, אֲשֶׁר-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ נֹתֵן לָךְ.
Old Testament, the 5th Commandment: Honour thy father and thy mother, …
It is respect for your parents that can make you feel a need TO GIVE to them and, as a result, you can experience that kind of love, which is very often not enough, not for parents, but for children. Why for children? Because ONLY love gives a feeling of happiness. Because the love gives a feeling of happiness ONLY to the one who loves.
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